Iyabo Obasanjo, No One Would Wish To Have A Child Like You
My dear Iyabo Obasanjo,
First off, it is still unclear whether or not you wrote that letter to
your dad – ex-President Olusegun Obansanjo – circulating in the media.
Your failure to come forward (through a neutral source) to affirm or
refute the letter and its contents have forced many to believe that you
indeed penned that piece.
Personally, I’ve read the letter, and just can’t hide my disappointment.
I’m particularly disappointed because everyone that has read it, and
will ever read it must have had issues with their own dads at some point
in their lives. Some even have more disastrous relationships with their
fathers or parents. Some don’t even know their parents and earnestly
pray to have somebody to call father, no matter how irresponsible he may
be. I don’t know if you have ever been to the orphanages. Please do…You
will understand.
To tell you the truth, throwing mud at your father’s white garment in
the village square is the least effective way of redressing such complex
family squabbles. What you have done is sacrilegious...
It shows
bad upbringing and want of character. It puts a big question mark on the
academic background and intellectual quality of the author. By all
known cultural, social and global standards, your open letter and its
contents are very inappropriate.
I’m sure you are a mother, a busy mother for that matter. You have been a
senator, commissioner, business woman et al. That shows how busy you
must have been. That also shows you can’t boast of having been a 100%
effective mum to your kids. There must have been times your professional
work or political schedules clashed with your wifely/motherly routine.
And as such, it will be wrong to claim that you have been there for your
children and family EVERYTIME they needed you. But that doesn’t make
you a bad mum. That doesn’t mean you have failed or neglected your
motherly roles. That doesn’t also mean you love your family any less.
I’m sure you worked hard and made all these sacrifices for the sake of
your children; your family. How would you feel if they turn around and
throw mud at you, like you are doing to your father? How would you react
to a mail in the media tomorrow authored by your own son, accusing you
of neglect, or prioritizing your political pursuits far above your
motherly obligations? Would you rather rejoice? The same people you
toiled for?
I won’t bother to go into the contents of your mail, simply because its
purely a private family affair, which ought not to be in the public
domain in the first place. But please be reminded that your political
progress and achievements so far were enabled and powered by your
surname – OBASANJO! The plethora of lawsuits and trials you escaped
during the Senate Health Committee scandals are thankfully attributable
to your last name. You literally walked away from legal prosecution, and
a highly-probable conviction. It wasn’t magic. So, the freedom you
enjoy today, is just on borrowed time. It shouldn’t be.
Let me conclude by advising that family disputes should never be used to
settle political scores and mundane differences. Its wrong! It is not
the duty of a daughter to win more enemies for his father. In fact, it
is a TABOO. Many of your father’s real and imagined enemies must have
been amused by your letter. But in their minds, they tremble at the mere
thought of having a child like you. They would wish to be childless
than to have a child that would bring them nothing but disgrace. Nobody
wants that. And you too!
Let political scores be settled politically. But don’t allow yourself to
be used as a willing smear tool in the hands of forces against your own
father. This is wrong!!! You have elders, uncles, brothers, sisters,
and a host of relatives to complain to. There are traditional and
cultural institutions for redressing such family grievances. Use them!
Please remember that even the people you write and complain to, may have
worse family problems. Look at all the great men in history: Prince of
Wales, Nelson Mandela, Bill Clinton, MKO Abiola, Fela Anikulapo Kuti …
name them…they all had family problems…You are not the first, and won’t
be the last. Please my dear sister, don’t invite curses upon your
innocent head.
And finally, of all the commandments in the Bible, there is only one
with a promise: Honour thy father and thy mother, so that thy days may
be long. So says the holy scripture. She who hath ears, let her hear.
May God help you to do the right thing…
Goodbye sister,
By Victoria Ohaeri
